Another chapter

08.03.04 (9:03 pm)

Well, it's been a few days since I posted my last blog. Not that I was lazy but just been busy with a few things. Not having a job can do that for you. It can drive you insane or just give you clear mind to do things. The job situation is getting critical. My unemployment is about to run out in a month. I have enough reserves to last me until end of August. I don't know what I am going to do after that. I guess I can re-finance my house and get some cash out to survive more but I really have to find something very soon. I have been sending out a steady stream of resumes, about 3-5 per day, but I haven't heard a thing so far. I am getting a bit desperate out here. I am finding out that once I am in panic, I do some strange things that I never thought I would do. First of these is that serious consideration of change of career. One of thing I thought about was professional poker player. I mean I saw the World Series of Poker on TV. First time amateurs were winning the big pot. So, instead of writing blogs, I went on the internet to play poker tournaments against other players. The results were mixed. I managed to win a few tournaments, mostly $5-$20 entry fees, but lost a lot more. After losing a few hundred dollars in a couple of weeks, I gave up that idea. Then next thing that came to my mind was to write a book. I always wanted to write a book about something that I know. So, I started the book, wrote the first paragraph and got the writer's block. It's been a couple of days and I haven't gone back to it yet. I will do that soon. I still think the book is worth writing but it won't pay me in next month. So, back to sending out resumes. There is a local job fair tomorrow starting at noon. I have a bunch of resumes printed out and with an optimism, I will hit the floor and hope to get an interview. We will see. I had a lunch with my ex and she is also looking as well. She's in HR so it may take a bit for her to find a job since recovery takes a while for HR to pick up. She is finishing her master's so she will be done in September. I am so proud of her. Another thought is to go for my PhD rather than go back to work. That would mean I need to cut down my life style to student life again, which I don't mind. However, it's a bit difficult living on student budget when I have a big mortgage to pay (welcome to California). My last option is to just chuck everything and go on the road. Sell my house, all my stuff inside, store what is left, get myself a backpack and a laptop. Just travel the US for next 6 month, year or whatever to just see the country. I think I can last about a year traveling if I did that with proceeds from my house. However, the pratical side of me says no. I mean, I am 42 now, after I come back from the trip, what am I going to do? How would I afford to retire later? That is a huge problem I am not sure if I want to face at that time. So, at this time, I have no clue of what I want to do. I guess find a job then contemplate what I want to do. I will keep you posted. - eben